Wellness: Love the Shape You Are Now

In a society where we are conditioned to believe that perfect means being thin, tall and gorgeous, it makes it hard for the average woman — no matter her age — to look in the mirror and say, “I love you and accept you as you are.” We always find fault: the nose is too big; the stomach is hanging over; the chin is doubled, so we think; our hips are too wide; and our thighs are thunderous. The list can go on and on.

All these negative messages do not help in the effort to get healthy and fit. In fact, they can unconsciously do more harm than good, as they cause low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and for some, eating disorders.

Wouldn’t it be great if every woman woke up tomorrow morning, looked in the mirror and loved what she saw? A woman with a healthy body image has a real perception of her size and shape, and feels comfortable in her body and with her body. Isn’t it time to turn off the negative head talk and focus on accepting and loving yourself, no matter what size and shape?

Changing your body image is not easy. It means changing the way you think about your body now, not waiting until you drop 10 or 15 pounds. Healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes, as evidenced with realty shows like How to Look Good Naked. To create a positive body image, you need to treat your body with care, including respect and kindness.
“It is so important to treat your body with love and respect on the journey. Negative self-talk diminishes self-esteem and slows down and/or stops the journey to creating a more positive body image. Your thoughts create your feelings. In turn, we act on those feelings by soothing and comforting with food or by restricting food,” said Tami Brannon-Quan, a Laguna Hill, CA-based certified addiction specialist and co-author of Love Your Body: Change the Way You Feel About What You Have. Her specialty is treating individuals with eating disorders and body image issues.

One method Brannon-Quan suggests is positive affirmation. “It is a very important tool that you must do everyday, preferably in the mirror,” she said. “We live in an instant gratification world. The journey doesn’t happen overnight. If you are consistent, you will see results. You give a gift to yourself of self-esteem, feeling better; it’s a domino effect.”
In Love Your Body and on her website, Brannon-Quan offers suggestions to help you learn to love your body and transform your body image. Here are some examples:

Don’t compare. When we compare ourselves to others we always lose. The realities of our looks and theirs don’t even matter. When we look at others, we see how perfect they are. When we look at ourselves, we see how imperfect we are. We feel we can never measure up, no matter what. By avoiding comparisons to others, we save ourselves grief and can work toward making our body the best it can be.
Focus on Your Accomplishments: Instead of nit-picking your body, try focusing on your positive traits. Are you loving, kind and considerate? So what if your thighs aren’t pencil thin? You make a difference in the world, and that’s what really matters!
Learn to Take a Compliment: Many of us dream of the perfect look. We want to be beautiful, to have others stop and notice us. Yet, when someone gives us a compliment such as, “You look great in that dress,” we say something like, “This old thing!” The very thing we are looking for —recognition — we brush off. Practice saying “thank you” when someone gives you a compliment. Don’t over analyze it, judge the giver or make light of it; let it soak in and allow yourself to feel good.
Self-Talk & Affirmations: Listen to the chatter in your head. Is it positive or negative? Are you being complimentary of your body? Are you using words of encouragement? Chances are the answer is “no.” Replacing negative thoughts with praise allows you to begin to change your life. Along with self-talk, positive affirmations is a powerful way to change the way you feel about your body. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and repeat your affirmations to yourself. Say them with enthusiasm. Believe it, even if you have to “fake it till you make it.” After a few weeks of doing this, you will come to believe and know that what you are saying is true.
Focus on the Positive: Hating your body can become a bad habit. All your negative feelings are instantly transferred to your body. Instead of dealing with the problems that create the negative feelings, you just shove those feelings deep inside. Learning to focus on the positives gives you a whole different perspective. It allows you to see the world half-full instead of half-empty. Focus on the good in your life.
Stop Fantasy Thinking: Stop saying, “If I could only lose 10 pounds I’d be happy” or “If I were thin men would ask me out.” Your body is not the reason you are miserable; you were miserable first and took it out on your body. Get on with your life. Be loving and you will attract loving people.
Body Movement: Your body was designed to move — walk, run, jump and dance. By reconnecting to your body you might be amazed at how incredible it really is. Yoga is a one great way to reconnect, as well as cardiovascular exercise.
Support: The struggle to heal your negative body image is an ongoing battle. Seek out support through a counselor and family/friends.